(7,394 ft. over the sea level)
Pink Mountain is the second highest peak in Absurdistan (after Local
Extremum in Math County, which is 7,395 ft.). It lies approximately
half way between the towns of Kocourkov and New Yarka Metelka. You
can't miss it since the whole mountain is painted pink. The legend
has it that the pink coat is the revenge of Absurdistan's exiled
painter Salvator Zdali, who was deported from the country after
he refused to fix Princess Monica's make-up.
eve of his deportation, Zdali 19 of his students and two truckfuls of
sprayguns climbed up the mountain and covered it with the most disgusting
hue of pink the money could buy.
It is not surprising that such an abhorrent concentration of pink has
adverse effects on the human digestive system and, as a matter of fact,
most hospitals in Absurdistan show patients the above picture to induce
vomitting. At the side of the mountain (hidden behind the trees) is the
Absurdistan's State Penitentiary, whose inmates are being punished by
the view. The ASP is considered to be one of the toughest prisons
in the world.
Dave Novy, a prisoner sentenced to 10 years for criticizing the Party's policy,
told a local reporter: "It's not worth it. After watching this pinkish rock
for 7 years I'd rather behave."
The pink color of the mountain doesn't seem to do much good for ordinary
citizens either. The area is virtually devoid of tourism and the few bold
explorers who entered this region soon became "pinksick".
In case you are traveling through the area, keep in mind that the most
symptoms of pinksickness are increased blinking, a mild fever and a definite
inclination towards communist ideals.
Some animals, however, developed a surprising ability to thrive in the
painted habitat. Namely the
whose fur is virtually invisible on mountain's slopes.
That's probably why there is such a small number of escape
attempts from the prison.
Most of prisoners are afraid that they'd fall prey to the pink panther if
they made it over the fence.
If you like pink, your piano might develop an attitude problem.
Back to La Fionco