Animal Personals

Dogs & Cats

Down-to-Earth Dachshund N/S 4 years old, 1'2" is looking for a bitch to have a good time. Must have her own doghouse and be flee-free. Doggie style preffered. (Ad 2034)

Do you love puppies? Then call this lonely mother of 18. Seeking commitment, strong morals and a big, soft, wet muzzle. (Ad 7499)

Marriage-minded Siamese Cat is looking for a nice and well-groomed Tomcat. I am interested in gold fish, balls of string and Nature's Recipe. Let's purr together and see where it leads. (Ad 3982)

A loner at heart. This 8 yr old German shepherd likes long runs, swimming, chasing rabbits and conservative values. Tired of barking alone. Must be at least 3'. (Ad 7250)

Miaouw! Miaouw! Who will comfort an abandoned Kitty, 2 years old, longhair, caring, terrific smell, who enjoys sunshine. Please, be honest! (Ad 2111)

Mice Killer ISO outgoing SWC in her early sevens. I'll shower you with dead rats! Let's rock. (Ad 4992)

Any Country Dogs out there? I am bored! Bored! Bored! Me 4 years old mutt, you in the neighborhood. Great outdoors. (Ad 4387)

A purebred Persian Princess of an impeccable pedigree would like to meet a discreet, mature and handsome male cat, who is emotionally and financially stable and knows how to use a litter box. I enjoy witty discussions and scratching an expensive carpet. Can you paw the bill? (Ad 3906)

A single Mom and her 8 mo old kitty are looking for a caring Dad. Breed not important. Are you there? (Ad 5432)

Hey - what are you waiting for? Come and spend some really hot nights over the phone with the furriest bitches in town. Call 1-900-WOOF-WOOF. Must be 5 years or older. (Ad 3222)

You can find me, even though I am one of the last nice bitches in town. I live life to its fullest and never miss an opportunity to please. Sincere, sensitive, considerate and very clean. Seeking the same. All you flea-infested, scabby, dirty old mongrels uncapable of learning new tricks, please, do not respond. (Ad 8117)

Lassie look alike is looking for a rugged and furry male dog. Kind of like Buck Bundy if you know what I mean. Blush! Blush! (Ad 3217)

Other Animals

A talkative parrot, 3 yrs, 2 lbs would like to find a counterpart for long and stimulating conversations, possibly more. Have my own cage. (Ad 3026)

A single black female bear is looking for her teddy! I have the most definite plan for cubs - and you are part of it! Fishing in Alaska. (Ad 7321)

I am tired of the whole sty scene. Hard working horse ISO nice and attractive mare, 8-10, preferably Arabian. Must have a stable job.

I am new to this Internet thing so please be patient with me. I am 3 yrs old sow, 325 lbs and looking for a nice strapping boar with some back bristles. I am pretty liberal on table manners and personal hygiene, and, as a matter of fact, a little mud patch here and there turns me on. No showers necessary. (Ad 7100)

Sink into my eyes. Drown in my mouth. A cuddly alligator in the mood for a romance. I'm an affectionate female, young looking, 5 years, 15 ft long. Nice teeth a must! (Ad 8874)

A couple of rabbits are looking for another couple. We are 5&6 yrs old and love to swing. Good time. (Ad 4731)

A spelling bee looking for an intelligent drone. (Ad 9933)

Next door elephant, slightly overweight (6 tons), family oriented would like to meet a nice single female elephant without cubs. Looking for a long term commitment. (Ad 5509)

Well-traveled stork seeking the same for quality time. Tired of carrying someone else's babies. Let's make our own. (Ad 7290)

Sentimental tiger with a fit body and a great smile ISO tigeress with the same attributes. Enjoy eating people, running in a jungle and shopping. (Ad 1029)

A praying mantis is looking for a one night stand. Yum-yum! (Ad 8534)

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