ABSURDISTAN

Geography

Location: somewhere between the east and west poles; more precisely: south of its northern neighbor

Area: 31,415.92 sq miles

Maritime claims: a bucket of salt water 230 miles south of Hawaii

International disputes: demands federation with Venezuela

Terrain: mostly flat (the highest peak is Local Extremum in the Math County)

Land use:
arable land.....8.2%
meadows........9.1%
mirrors.......10.0%
built areas.....13.3%
jungles.........14.8%
city dumps......18.4%
giant stadiums.22.9%

If the reader took the pain to add the above up (and is puzzled by the total) we must caution him/her/it that in Absurdistan the total always adds up to 96.7%

Natural Resources: coal, iron ore, tooth brushes...

Climate: extremely humid, continuous rainfall (except on Holidays)

People

Honorary President: Jara da Cimrman (in absentio)
Incidentally, Cimrman is also the honorary Prime Minister, Secretary of State, Chief of the Army, Mayor of Ejsi,DC and the honorary Janitor in the national museum.

Population: varies with season

Cities over 50,000: Ejsi, New Yarka Metelka, Codimension, Kocourkov, Pierre de Fair, Praha, Hradec Kralove, North Pole and Jarov.

Life expectancy at birth: 532 years (never reached in practice, though)

Ethnic division: Absurds(53%), Weirdos (20%), Extraterrestrials(11%), Dolphins(10%), Others(2.7%)

Languages: Czech, English, Norwegian, Pascal, Cobol, Blabol

Literacy: Li-What?

National sport: Slug races

Government

Type: Total Dictatorship of the Absurd Party

Form: The Absurd Party is in full control of the capital. All the bills proposed by it are automatically passed. The Senate convenes only on Saturdays as a marching band for the football team. Away from Ejsi the form of government is looser, and close to the border approaches anarchy.

Official name of the country: United Counties of Absurdistan

Flag:

Capital: Ejsi, DC

Constitution: hidden in a secret place in Ejsi, DC.

Administrative division: so far four counties were discovered: Math, Czech, Cimrman's and Weird.

Legal system: civil law based on a random coin toss

Police force: mostly secret (beware of suspiciously looking trees)

National Holiday: September 9 - The National Secret Soap Day

Political parties and organizations: The Absurd Party, The Bug In Sect, Cimrman's Revival Band

Diplomatic representation: None

Economy

National product per capita: $39,978 (1995 est.)

Inflation rate: 0.000000000000000000000000000001%

Currency: 1 AF (absurd frank) = 99 ch (chechtakos)

Financial system: based on Rain Czechs

Main import articles: bottled drought, fish food, umbrellas, raincoats

Main export articles: strawberries, light bulbs, electronics, blondes

International debts: $9.95 to the Czech Republic for using its shape

Industry: mining equipment, mole socks, blonde parts, nutcrackers

Agriculture: strawberries, weasel farms, happy cows

Transportation: mainly horse carriages, bicycles, blimps and submarines

Defense forces: Absurdistan is surrounded by lions. That keeps all the possible intruders away.

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