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Banbury Cross

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Post details: Vexation Of Jeff

Vexation Of Jeff

Another intriguing thing about baseball is its luscious statistical thicket that can ensnare many an unsuspecting wonderer in its spinney maze. To a person unfamiliar with fast data prestidigitation, an erudite dialog of two coffee beans announcing the game on TV may resemble a page from Encyclopaedia Britannica. It might go like this:

A. And Pujols chalked up another hit today.
B. You don't say, he has been batting 0.344 this season.
A. Oh yeah, but with players on base he is 0.345
B. True, and if it rains, he is actually 0.346.
A. Also, he's batting 0.347 when the pitcher doesn't smoke.
B. Sure he does, and 0.348 when the game falls on the full moon.
A. By the way, did you know that the MLB record in this department is held by one Lance Werewolf from the Houston Whatchamacallits?
B. Of course I do, in 1933 he batted 0.371 with players on base on rainy days under full moon against non-smoking pitchers.

Meanwhile elsewhere in this Universe, the Cardinals acquired Jeff Weaver from the Angels to bolster their crumbling pitching staff. I am not sure what the MLB archives have to say about a situation like this, but to suffer 15 runs from subpar Braves on the debut night of the pitching savior must be some sort of a record. Although to Jeff's defense it needs to be said that only 6 runs were scored on his watch. The whole bullpen took the day off tonight. I don't wanna potch at patchy pitching, but if this is a start of a new trend, I'm gonna turn this keyboard into a Bullpoint Pen.


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