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Banbury Cross

a pillow for lost thoughts...

Post details: Inner Core

Inner Core

People are like onions. What you see is only an outer layer with many more hidden underneath the surface. And it usually takes some serious peeling to get to the innermost one.

Those layers come from many sources. Some are added by our parents, some by our friends, some by our teachers and coaches, some by our priests, some by our role models and some by the crises we suffered through. But at the heart of each of us there is that mysterious inner core. Our secret pulp. The true essence of us.

Some of us are lucky enough to have their inner core aligned with their profession. Some are generals, some nurses, some explorers, some dreamers and others race car drivers. But it could also very well be that some nurses have little generals inside them and vice versa. Little routines and rituals of our daily lives make us forget about our inner core. It gets mangled and obscured by education and upbringing. It is only in extreme situations that it speaks out with a clear voice. No wonder that one gets easily confused.

For a long time I thought that at the heart of hearts I was a clown. I do enjoy humorous and often farcical aspects of life and am always more comfortable being part of a comedy than a drama. But this Thanksgiving I visited Central America and on that occasion entered a rainforest couple of times. And whether it was in Belize or Guatemala, I felt strangely at home there. So I now suspect that I am a savage at heart - an anti-tarzan of sorts. A person who was mistakenly raised in the middle of civilization, but really belongs deep into the jungle.

You can best tell what your inner core is when you find yourself in your natural habitat. You will unmistakably feel the deep resonance, the desire to blend into the environment, the comfort that can only stem from recognizing the call of your own. And with it the urge to snap the leash and run away from whichever path you are on. And howl uncontrollably all the way.



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