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Post details: Calling All Suckers

Calling All Suckers

Yesterday I received a letter from my AutoInsurer inviting me "to be among the first in Virginia to take advantage of a whole new car insurance". Whoa! No more worrying about future collisions with fellow motorists? Where is my pen? I can't sign up for this plan fast enough.

Feeling more protected than an armadillo in a condom factory I read on and realized that the sweet carrot of "Accident Forgiveness" dangles alluringly on the other side of a little abyss known as "the fine print". As I thought about it, the deal boiled down to this.

I am fairly defensive driver, so my rates are humble and low. Should I run into trouble though, the rates would increase significantly. So my dear AutoInsurer proposes to increase my rates immediately through the plan, rather at some later time through natural causes. Well, I am on the verge of bursting into tears of gratefulness. Should an accident happen in the future, I will be forgiven and my rates will stay put.

I know - I am being a bit unfair. The Accident Forgiveness plan will cost a bit less than the actual increase, but I am sure the overall balance is in the AutoInsurer's favor. Being a nice guy, I would like to offer all AutoInsurers a helping hand and propose a new plan, even more devilish, whereby all the milk guzzling infants would be sent the following letter:

Dear Sucker:

you have just been born, but roughly eighteen years from now your automobile insurance costs will skyrocket from comfortable 0 to some value determined by your neighborhood and by the wheels your parents could afford for you. In order to absorb part of this financial shock, we would like to offer you our "Common Sense Forgiveness" plan, which will cost you a measly $1.60/day. For this laughable amount, you'll get the priceless peace of mind (mind not included) plus a warm feeling that when you actually reach the driving age, and all your classmates will be scrambling to cover the unexpected insurance costs, YOUR wallet will NOT experience any sudden increases in expenditures.

If you have questions or payments, preferably the latter, please, feel free to contact me.

signed: Joseph Leech, a certified car insurance specialist

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